Dec 13 2012 236.6
Last week 211.4
Today 214.0
Up 2.6
Down total 22.6
My last entry seemed a bit harsh towards my Mom. I think that and the fact I am up over two pounds shows that I am an emotional eater.
Even though its been 5 years, it is still hard. In a lot of ways I miss her.
But I am so thankful that she isn’t suffering anymore.
I am thankful for my family that I do have.
I am worried that I am gonna do the same to my family. My weight goes up and down. A few years ago, our family Doctor was concerned with all the extra weight I had and what it was doing to me. Last year I gained a lot of that weight back, and I am worried about those concerns.
But I am getting back into control. This week I am gonna get back on track.
Now before you start thinking I am a Mama’s Boy…
This week marks the week 5 years ago that my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer for the second time and she passed away that year in May.
One would think that May would be harder for me, but it isn’t. That dreaded phone call from my sister and then my Mom where I find out still plays in my mind. Those emotions that I still can not seem to get over. I think the one that gets me, is the anger I was feeling. This was the second time. Mom knew that if she continued doing what she did, it greatly increased her chances of getting cancer AGAIN.
I knowI am an emotional eater and this week is no different. I want to eat and don’t care what I eat. On one hand I know that the scale isn’t gonna be nice to me. On the other hand I know I should be heading to the gym and do my core and run. But I don’t want to. I want to stay in my crappy, feel sorry for myself mood.
Dec 31 236.6
Feb 4 213.3
Feb 11 211.4
Down 1.9
Total down 25.6
I feel so much better, I feel healthier. Can not believe how 25 pounds can make a difference, but it does. I hope I can keep the momentum going. I know the weight loss will slow down. I am already feeling the need to eat a bit more, I am hungrier after my workouts.
Need to come up with plans for that!
I missed my run day yesterday, I went for a short walk with my beautiful wife. It was better then nothing and loved the conversation. I just didn’t have it in me to go to the gym yesterday. In fact when I planned on going to the gym, I laid down for a rest and sleep for almost 2 hours.
Today though I made up for it. I ran 6.7 miles on a hamster wheel. Not a great time. but I have to admit when I was done, I realized I still could have done more. That was a good feeling, to not totally feel exhausted after a longer run. It gives me hope for actually running another 1/2 marathon.
Speaking of 1/2 marathons, I have yet to sign up for any. There are a few locally that I can run in May and June. I might try.
We are gonna do the 5k color run in Minneapolis in July.
I really want to go back to Walt Disney for the Marathon weekend in Jan 2014. Just not sure if I can do the goofy again. I might settle for the 1/2 because it is a lot of fun.
Not a lot happening in my life this week. But some of the highlights.
Got to spend the day with my wife yesterday. We went into the city to pick up a few things. Best part of it was sitting in Starbucks just being together. We have not done that in awhile
Oldest daughter hasn’t been feeling that well, uhm it was about the same time last month too. uhmmmmmm, she has been moody…….EEEEKKKKK
Youngest daughter thinks she is older than oldest daughter and wants a lot more freedom. She thinks is should be perfectly okay for her to go hangout with her friends from after school to after gymnastics without coming home. she is only 10. Call me old fashioned but “I don’t think so”
Today is a run day, hoping to go beyond 5 miles. I am still shocked that I can even think that. My first run of the year I was in tears after the first mile.
Have a Good Friday!
Dec 31 2012 236.6
Feb 4 2013 213.3
Down 23.3
Life is going in the right direction. I really want to be below 200. I will be there!
Goals for Feb
Weight wise be between 200 and 205
Running, 52 miles
Work more on my core.
Log 29 trips to the gym. Seeing if I can make it to the gym twice in one day.
I also need to work harder on health eating. The avoidance plan is working great, but I don’t want to stay there. I want to learn moderation. I want to know that feeling of having one piece and being Satisfied.
Have a good month!
Well, okay you probably could. As I waddle on the hamster wheel.
This mornings run was a lot more fun than it has been.
I am done with trying to run at the speed I did last summer. My only goal was to beat my last runs distance.
On Tuesday, I ran 3.66 miles in 45 min. Today I ran 3.82 in 45.
Not a huge difference. But the way my body felt after todays run was totally different. Better. For me huge improvement!
My confidence is building! I am feeling stronger, again!
I am starting to enjoy the benefits of healthy living.
My weight is going down, I can move faster!
But
I can get down on myself, and think that…..
my weight should be closer to my goal
I should be running faster….
I should ………
I am trying to change my thoughts have been trying to change to
I am……………
